How to avoid mentioning the name of a character?
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I am writing a short story which features a character known only as Old Man, but there is a part of the story where someone calls the Old Man by his name. Only once, and I was wondering if there was a way to have it so that the name is said but not mentioned in the story. My story is written from the third person.
fiction characters third-person
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up vote
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I am writing a short story which features a character known only as Old Man, but there is a part of the story where someone calls the Old Man by his name. Only once, and I was wondering if there was a way to have it so that the name is said but not mentioned in the story. My story is written from the third person.
fiction characters third-person
New contributor
2
Is it a mystery that he is Old Man? If not, you should introduce him in a third person narration as John "Old Man" Smith and then refer to hims as Old Man until the dialog calls for "John or Mr. Smith" Another way is to have a character who is close to Old Man call him by "John" as sign that they only use their name when it's serious.
– hszmv
2 days ago
Write in the first person. See du Maurier's "Rebecca" for the classic example.
– Carl Witthoft
7 hours ago
add a comment |
up vote
30
down vote
favorite
up vote
30
down vote
favorite
I am writing a short story which features a character known only as Old Man, but there is a part of the story where someone calls the Old Man by his name. Only once, and I was wondering if there was a way to have it so that the name is said but not mentioned in the story. My story is written from the third person.
fiction characters third-person
New contributor
I am writing a short story which features a character known only as Old Man, but there is a part of the story where someone calls the Old Man by his name. Only once, and I was wondering if there was a way to have it so that the name is said but not mentioned in the story. My story is written from the third person.
fiction characters third-person
fiction characters third-person
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New contributor
edited 14 hours ago
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asked 2 days ago
Kalama Xander
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Is it a mystery that he is Old Man? If not, you should introduce him in a third person narration as John "Old Man" Smith and then refer to hims as Old Man until the dialog calls for "John or Mr. Smith" Another way is to have a character who is close to Old Man call him by "John" as sign that they only use their name when it's serious.
– hszmv
2 days ago
Write in the first person. See du Maurier's "Rebecca" for the classic example.
– Carl Witthoft
7 hours ago
add a comment |
2
Is it a mystery that he is Old Man? If not, you should introduce him in a third person narration as John "Old Man" Smith and then refer to hims as Old Man until the dialog calls for "John or Mr. Smith" Another way is to have a character who is close to Old Man call him by "John" as sign that they only use their name when it's serious.
– hszmv
2 days ago
Write in the first person. See du Maurier's "Rebecca" for the classic example.
– Carl Witthoft
7 hours ago
2
2
Is it a mystery that he is Old Man? If not, you should introduce him in a third person narration as John "Old Man" Smith and then refer to hims as Old Man until the dialog calls for "John or Mr. Smith" Another way is to have a character who is close to Old Man call him by "John" as sign that they only use their name when it's serious.
– hszmv
2 days ago
Is it a mystery that he is Old Man? If not, you should introduce him in a third person narration as John "Old Man" Smith and then refer to hims as Old Man until the dialog calls for "John or Mr. Smith" Another way is to have a character who is close to Old Man call him by "John" as sign that they only use their name when it's serious.
– hszmv
2 days ago
Write in the first person. See du Maurier's "Rebecca" for the classic example.
– Carl Witthoft
7 hours ago
Write in the first person. See du Maurier's "Rebecca" for the classic example.
– Carl Witthoft
7 hours ago
add a comment |
7 Answers
7
active
oldest
votes
up vote
53
down vote
Sure, take the example of the library story arch in Doctor Who, we see River Song tell the Doctor his name by way of convincing him she's trustworthy but we don't hear it. The audience only know what she told him because she says she's going to tell him and only know it's the right name because of the Doctor's reaction to it. The same is possible in written fiction as well:
X leaned over and whispered into the Old Man's ear. The colour drained from his weatherbeaten features, then he found his voice. "But how do you know that name?" he sputtered.
Or something similar, the key is to show the information being used without actually saying what that information is.
add a comment |
up vote
48
down vote
Have the narrator tell the action in that place, not show it. Then show Old Man's reaction.
Example:
"Nothing gives you the right to do this."
Old Man sat back down in his chair, hoping Taylor would take the hint and go. Instead, he bent over so close Old Man smelled beer and onions on his breath. Then Taylor whispered something Old Man had last heard from his wife's dying lips. Too many years to count.
"How?..." Old Man asked him.
Taylor stood. "I know more than you think. More than just your name, Old Man."
And so on...
5
+1 got goosebumps when reading "I know more than you think. More than just your name, Old Man."
– Crettig
2 days ago
2
Damn, now I want to know more about the Old Man and his late wife, and what is this Taylor guy up to.
– Josh Part
10 hours ago
add a comment |
up vote
13
down vote
I think a good way to do this is to simply said "(person) called his name." or something like that.
The problem with this is that your characters can hear something that your readers can't, which creates a disconnect between your readers and the story. I really would try to avoid the name being audible in-universe; you can have some characters hear it (e.g. as a targeted whisper, or as an anecdote of something that happened elsewhere), but from the perspective of the narrator or whoever's telling the story, it should be inaudible so as to maintain disbelief.
– Lightness Races in Orbit
yesterday
6
@LightnessRacesinOrbit: I wouldn't consider that a problem unless the name is significant to the plot. If the name is going to be a plot point later, then this is a Bad Idea. If the name is being omitted because it's not supposed to matter, then eliding it in this fashion is perfectly unobjectionable (just like eliding any other irrelevant detail).
– Kevin
yesterday
@Kevin: IMO it would be like introducing a character without describing them, stating their appearance, what they say, it's just not a good way to tell a story! And I feel the reader will notice that and be uncomfortable. I would at least.
– Lightness Races in Orbit
yesterday
5
@LightnessRacesinOrbit: Well, you're welcome to your opinion, but without any story-mechanical reasoning for why this is actually a problem, I think we have to agree to disagree. I would not be uncomfortable with reading this storytelling technique.
– Kevin
yesterday
Maybe it's just me then! But I would expect to at least have a lantern hung on it.
– Lightness Races in Orbit
16 hours ago
|
show 1 more comment
up vote
11
down vote
You can say e.g. "upon hearing his name, he turned..."
New contributor
What would go just before this? Something like "Balt called out to the Old Man, and upon hearing his name, he turned...," perhaps? I'm not sure why burying the mention of the name in a preposition phrase makes it feel less jarring to me than Kale Slade's suggestion.
– Don 01001100
1 hour ago
@Don01001100 you could precede it with mention of calling out but you needn't. I like economy of word so I probably wouldn't. E.g. you could begin "he walked directly towards X, his gaze fixed, but upon hearing his name called from a grey figure huddled on the sand, he turned..."
– Robert Frost
35 mins ago
add a comment |
up vote
5
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You could perhaps adopt/adapt the technique used in the spy novel The Ipcress File by Len Deighton. Although the film of the book gave the main character a name (Harry Palmer), Deighton did not. At one point in the book, he has another character refer to the protagonist by name (while in an airport bookshop):
I was killing a minute with the paperbacks when I heard a soft voice say, 'Hello, Harry.'
Now my name isn't Harry, but in this business it's hard to remember whether it ever had been.
and "Harry" shrugs it off as a previously-used false name. That works well for a cloak-and-dagger spy story; but there are variants you could use in a more run-of-the-mill setting, for instance:
Old Man didn't know why [she | certain people] had decided his name was "John": it wasn't, but he couldn't be bothered correcting them.
New contributor
1
As a side note, this has been used (albeit in a direct homage to the Deighton style of spy novel) by Charles Stross in his Laundry series. Essentially, the name given to us for the character is Bob Howard (Bob Oliver Francis Howard in full, which is a rather subtle geek I M A Pseudonym) and several times in the books, he alludes to the fact that this isn't his real name, but since you are reading his secret service memoirs/case reports the names have been changed for security reasons.
– Wenlocke
10 hours ago
This seems to be answering a question different from what the OP asked.
– Acccumulation
3 hours ago
add a comment |
up vote
0
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I'd imagine, the Old Man is one of the central characters of your story. Why not name the story after him and use his name there?
Doing so would accentuate his stature while creating an air of mystery. Allowing one person to called the Old Man by his name also conveys depth and sensitivity.
I'm not sure if you've got a short story title in mind but I would simply call it "John" and leave it at that.
New contributor
add a comment |
up vote
-1
down vote
Peter shout on (called) the Old Man, by his name.
And so on ..
Hi Ali_Habeeb! While you provide an example of how to solve the OP's problem, it would be good if you could expand on your answer, give some general principles, add something to the discussion that has not yet been said. You can edit your post to add that.
– Galastel
7 hours ago
Hi @Galastel . I appreciate your advice, but it seems to me (as to others, I suppose) that the question is so direct and there is not much to say about it.
– Ali_Habeeb
3 hours ago
@Ali_Habeeb, you suppose incorrectly; this very page has several counterexamples to your supposition. (That is to say: people do have things to say about this question.)
– Wildcard
1 hour ago
add a comment |
7 Answers
7
active
oldest
votes
7 Answers
7
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
up vote
53
down vote
Sure, take the example of the library story arch in Doctor Who, we see River Song tell the Doctor his name by way of convincing him she's trustworthy but we don't hear it. The audience only know what she told him because she says she's going to tell him and only know it's the right name because of the Doctor's reaction to it. The same is possible in written fiction as well:
X leaned over and whispered into the Old Man's ear. The colour drained from his weatherbeaten features, then he found his voice. "But how do you know that name?" he sputtered.
Or something similar, the key is to show the information being used without actually saying what that information is.
add a comment |
up vote
53
down vote
Sure, take the example of the library story arch in Doctor Who, we see River Song tell the Doctor his name by way of convincing him she's trustworthy but we don't hear it. The audience only know what she told him because she says she's going to tell him and only know it's the right name because of the Doctor's reaction to it. The same is possible in written fiction as well:
X leaned over and whispered into the Old Man's ear. The colour drained from his weatherbeaten features, then he found his voice. "But how do you know that name?" he sputtered.
Or something similar, the key is to show the information being used without actually saying what that information is.
add a comment |
up vote
53
down vote
up vote
53
down vote
Sure, take the example of the library story arch in Doctor Who, we see River Song tell the Doctor his name by way of convincing him she's trustworthy but we don't hear it. The audience only know what she told him because she says she's going to tell him and only know it's the right name because of the Doctor's reaction to it. The same is possible in written fiction as well:
X leaned over and whispered into the Old Man's ear. The colour drained from his weatherbeaten features, then he found his voice. "But how do you know that name?" he sputtered.
Or something similar, the key is to show the information being used without actually saying what that information is.
Sure, take the example of the library story arch in Doctor Who, we see River Song tell the Doctor his name by way of convincing him she's trustworthy but we don't hear it. The audience only know what she told him because she says she's going to tell him and only know it's the right name because of the Doctor's reaction to it. The same is possible in written fiction as well:
X leaned over and whispered into the Old Man's ear. The colour drained from his weatherbeaten features, then he found his voice. "But how do you know that name?" he sputtered.
Or something similar, the key is to show the information being used without actually saying what that information is.
answered 2 days ago
Ash
5,391533
5,391533
add a comment |
add a comment |
up vote
48
down vote
Have the narrator tell the action in that place, not show it. Then show Old Man's reaction.
Example:
"Nothing gives you the right to do this."
Old Man sat back down in his chair, hoping Taylor would take the hint and go. Instead, he bent over so close Old Man smelled beer and onions on his breath. Then Taylor whispered something Old Man had last heard from his wife's dying lips. Too many years to count.
"How?..." Old Man asked him.
Taylor stood. "I know more than you think. More than just your name, Old Man."
And so on...
5
+1 got goosebumps when reading "I know more than you think. More than just your name, Old Man."
– Crettig
2 days ago
2
Damn, now I want to know more about the Old Man and his late wife, and what is this Taylor guy up to.
– Josh Part
10 hours ago
add a comment |
up vote
48
down vote
Have the narrator tell the action in that place, not show it. Then show Old Man's reaction.
Example:
"Nothing gives you the right to do this."
Old Man sat back down in his chair, hoping Taylor would take the hint and go. Instead, he bent over so close Old Man smelled beer and onions on his breath. Then Taylor whispered something Old Man had last heard from his wife's dying lips. Too many years to count.
"How?..." Old Man asked him.
Taylor stood. "I know more than you think. More than just your name, Old Man."
And so on...
5
+1 got goosebumps when reading "I know more than you think. More than just your name, Old Man."
– Crettig
2 days ago
2
Damn, now I want to know more about the Old Man and his late wife, and what is this Taylor guy up to.
– Josh Part
10 hours ago
add a comment |
up vote
48
down vote
up vote
48
down vote
Have the narrator tell the action in that place, not show it. Then show Old Man's reaction.
Example:
"Nothing gives you the right to do this."
Old Man sat back down in his chair, hoping Taylor would take the hint and go. Instead, he bent over so close Old Man smelled beer and onions on his breath. Then Taylor whispered something Old Man had last heard from his wife's dying lips. Too many years to count.
"How?..." Old Man asked him.
Taylor stood. "I know more than you think. More than just your name, Old Man."
And so on...
Have the narrator tell the action in that place, not show it. Then show Old Man's reaction.
Example:
"Nothing gives you the right to do this."
Old Man sat back down in his chair, hoping Taylor would take the hint and go. Instead, he bent over so close Old Man smelled beer and onions on his breath. Then Taylor whispered something Old Man had last heard from his wife's dying lips. Too many years to count.
"How?..." Old Man asked him.
Taylor stood. "I know more than you think. More than just your name, Old Man."
And so on...
answered 2 days ago
Cyn
2,391322
2,391322
5
+1 got goosebumps when reading "I know more than you think. More than just your name, Old Man."
– Crettig
2 days ago
2
Damn, now I want to know more about the Old Man and his late wife, and what is this Taylor guy up to.
– Josh Part
10 hours ago
add a comment |
5
+1 got goosebumps when reading "I know more than you think. More than just your name, Old Man."
– Crettig
2 days ago
2
Damn, now I want to know more about the Old Man and his late wife, and what is this Taylor guy up to.
– Josh Part
10 hours ago
5
5
+1 got goosebumps when reading "I know more than you think. More than just your name, Old Man."
– Crettig
2 days ago
+1 got goosebumps when reading "I know more than you think. More than just your name, Old Man."
– Crettig
2 days ago
2
2
Damn, now I want to know more about the Old Man and his late wife, and what is this Taylor guy up to.
– Josh Part
10 hours ago
Damn, now I want to know more about the Old Man and his late wife, and what is this Taylor guy up to.
– Josh Part
10 hours ago
add a comment |
up vote
13
down vote
I think a good way to do this is to simply said "(person) called his name." or something like that.
The problem with this is that your characters can hear something that your readers can't, which creates a disconnect between your readers and the story. I really would try to avoid the name being audible in-universe; you can have some characters hear it (e.g. as a targeted whisper, or as an anecdote of something that happened elsewhere), but from the perspective of the narrator or whoever's telling the story, it should be inaudible so as to maintain disbelief.
– Lightness Races in Orbit
yesterday
6
@LightnessRacesinOrbit: I wouldn't consider that a problem unless the name is significant to the plot. If the name is going to be a plot point later, then this is a Bad Idea. If the name is being omitted because it's not supposed to matter, then eliding it in this fashion is perfectly unobjectionable (just like eliding any other irrelevant detail).
– Kevin
yesterday
@Kevin: IMO it would be like introducing a character without describing them, stating their appearance, what they say, it's just not a good way to tell a story! And I feel the reader will notice that and be uncomfortable. I would at least.
– Lightness Races in Orbit
yesterday
5
@LightnessRacesinOrbit: Well, you're welcome to your opinion, but without any story-mechanical reasoning for why this is actually a problem, I think we have to agree to disagree. I would not be uncomfortable with reading this storytelling technique.
– Kevin
yesterday
Maybe it's just me then! But I would expect to at least have a lantern hung on it.
– Lightness Races in Orbit
16 hours ago
|
show 1 more comment
up vote
13
down vote
I think a good way to do this is to simply said "(person) called his name." or something like that.
The problem with this is that your characters can hear something that your readers can't, which creates a disconnect between your readers and the story. I really would try to avoid the name being audible in-universe; you can have some characters hear it (e.g. as a targeted whisper, or as an anecdote of something that happened elsewhere), but from the perspective of the narrator or whoever's telling the story, it should be inaudible so as to maintain disbelief.
– Lightness Races in Orbit
yesterday
6
@LightnessRacesinOrbit: I wouldn't consider that a problem unless the name is significant to the plot. If the name is going to be a plot point later, then this is a Bad Idea. If the name is being omitted because it's not supposed to matter, then eliding it in this fashion is perfectly unobjectionable (just like eliding any other irrelevant detail).
– Kevin
yesterday
@Kevin: IMO it would be like introducing a character without describing them, stating their appearance, what they say, it's just not a good way to tell a story! And I feel the reader will notice that and be uncomfortable. I would at least.
– Lightness Races in Orbit
yesterday
5
@LightnessRacesinOrbit: Well, you're welcome to your opinion, but without any story-mechanical reasoning for why this is actually a problem, I think we have to agree to disagree. I would not be uncomfortable with reading this storytelling technique.
– Kevin
yesterday
Maybe it's just me then! But I would expect to at least have a lantern hung on it.
– Lightness Races in Orbit
16 hours ago
|
show 1 more comment
up vote
13
down vote
up vote
13
down vote
I think a good way to do this is to simply said "(person) called his name." or something like that.
I think a good way to do this is to simply said "(person) called his name." or something like that.
answered 2 days ago
Kale Slade
791222
791222
The problem with this is that your characters can hear something that your readers can't, which creates a disconnect between your readers and the story. I really would try to avoid the name being audible in-universe; you can have some characters hear it (e.g. as a targeted whisper, or as an anecdote of something that happened elsewhere), but from the perspective of the narrator or whoever's telling the story, it should be inaudible so as to maintain disbelief.
– Lightness Races in Orbit
yesterday
6
@LightnessRacesinOrbit: I wouldn't consider that a problem unless the name is significant to the plot. If the name is going to be a plot point later, then this is a Bad Idea. If the name is being omitted because it's not supposed to matter, then eliding it in this fashion is perfectly unobjectionable (just like eliding any other irrelevant detail).
– Kevin
yesterday
@Kevin: IMO it would be like introducing a character without describing them, stating their appearance, what they say, it's just not a good way to tell a story! And I feel the reader will notice that and be uncomfortable. I would at least.
– Lightness Races in Orbit
yesterday
5
@LightnessRacesinOrbit: Well, you're welcome to your opinion, but without any story-mechanical reasoning for why this is actually a problem, I think we have to agree to disagree. I would not be uncomfortable with reading this storytelling technique.
– Kevin
yesterday
Maybe it's just me then! But I would expect to at least have a lantern hung on it.
– Lightness Races in Orbit
16 hours ago
|
show 1 more comment
The problem with this is that your characters can hear something that your readers can't, which creates a disconnect between your readers and the story. I really would try to avoid the name being audible in-universe; you can have some characters hear it (e.g. as a targeted whisper, or as an anecdote of something that happened elsewhere), but from the perspective of the narrator or whoever's telling the story, it should be inaudible so as to maintain disbelief.
– Lightness Races in Orbit
yesterday
6
@LightnessRacesinOrbit: I wouldn't consider that a problem unless the name is significant to the plot. If the name is going to be a plot point later, then this is a Bad Idea. If the name is being omitted because it's not supposed to matter, then eliding it in this fashion is perfectly unobjectionable (just like eliding any other irrelevant detail).
– Kevin
yesterday
@Kevin: IMO it would be like introducing a character without describing them, stating their appearance, what they say, it's just not a good way to tell a story! And I feel the reader will notice that and be uncomfortable. I would at least.
– Lightness Races in Orbit
yesterday
5
@LightnessRacesinOrbit: Well, you're welcome to your opinion, but without any story-mechanical reasoning for why this is actually a problem, I think we have to agree to disagree. I would not be uncomfortable with reading this storytelling technique.
– Kevin
yesterday
Maybe it's just me then! But I would expect to at least have a lantern hung on it.
– Lightness Races in Orbit
16 hours ago
The problem with this is that your characters can hear something that your readers can't, which creates a disconnect between your readers and the story. I really would try to avoid the name being audible in-universe; you can have some characters hear it (e.g. as a targeted whisper, or as an anecdote of something that happened elsewhere), but from the perspective of the narrator or whoever's telling the story, it should be inaudible so as to maintain disbelief.
– Lightness Races in Orbit
yesterday
The problem with this is that your characters can hear something that your readers can't, which creates a disconnect between your readers and the story. I really would try to avoid the name being audible in-universe; you can have some characters hear it (e.g. as a targeted whisper, or as an anecdote of something that happened elsewhere), but from the perspective of the narrator or whoever's telling the story, it should be inaudible so as to maintain disbelief.
– Lightness Races in Orbit
yesterday
6
6
@LightnessRacesinOrbit: I wouldn't consider that a problem unless the name is significant to the plot. If the name is going to be a plot point later, then this is a Bad Idea. If the name is being omitted because it's not supposed to matter, then eliding it in this fashion is perfectly unobjectionable (just like eliding any other irrelevant detail).
– Kevin
yesterday
@LightnessRacesinOrbit: I wouldn't consider that a problem unless the name is significant to the plot. If the name is going to be a plot point later, then this is a Bad Idea. If the name is being omitted because it's not supposed to matter, then eliding it in this fashion is perfectly unobjectionable (just like eliding any other irrelevant detail).
– Kevin
yesterday
@Kevin: IMO it would be like introducing a character without describing them, stating their appearance, what they say, it's just not a good way to tell a story! And I feel the reader will notice that and be uncomfortable. I would at least.
– Lightness Races in Orbit
yesterday
@Kevin: IMO it would be like introducing a character without describing them, stating their appearance, what they say, it's just not a good way to tell a story! And I feel the reader will notice that and be uncomfortable. I would at least.
– Lightness Races in Orbit
yesterday
5
5
@LightnessRacesinOrbit: Well, you're welcome to your opinion, but without any story-mechanical reasoning for why this is actually a problem, I think we have to agree to disagree. I would not be uncomfortable with reading this storytelling technique.
– Kevin
yesterday
@LightnessRacesinOrbit: Well, you're welcome to your opinion, but without any story-mechanical reasoning for why this is actually a problem, I think we have to agree to disagree. I would not be uncomfortable with reading this storytelling technique.
– Kevin
yesterday
Maybe it's just me then! But I would expect to at least have a lantern hung on it.
– Lightness Races in Orbit
16 hours ago
Maybe it's just me then! But I would expect to at least have a lantern hung on it.
– Lightness Races in Orbit
16 hours ago
|
show 1 more comment
up vote
11
down vote
You can say e.g. "upon hearing his name, he turned..."
New contributor
What would go just before this? Something like "Balt called out to the Old Man, and upon hearing his name, he turned...," perhaps? I'm not sure why burying the mention of the name in a preposition phrase makes it feel less jarring to me than Kale Slade's suggestion.
– Don 01001100
1 hour ago
@Don01001100 you could precede it with mention of calling out but you needn't. I like economy of word so I probably wouldn't. E.g. you could begin "he walked directly towards X, his gaze fixed, but upon hearing his name called from a grey figure huddled on the sand, he turned..."
– Robert Frost
35 mins ago
add a comment |
up vote
11
down vote
You can say e.g. "upon hearing his name, he turned..."
New contributor
What would go just before this? Something like "Balt called out to the Old Man, and upon hearing his name, he turned...," perhaps? I'm not sure why burying the mention of the name in a preposition phrase makes it feel less jarring to me than Kale Slade's suggestion.
– Don 01001100
1 hour ago
@Don01001100 you could precede it with mention of calling out but you needn't. I like economy of word so I probably wouldn't. E.g. you could begin "he walked directly towards X, his gaze fixed, but upon hearing his name called from a grey figure huddled on the sand, he turned..."
– Robert Frost
35 mins ago
add a comment |
up vote
11
down vote
up vote
11
down vote
You can say e.g. "upon hearing his name, he turned..."
New contributor
You can say e.g. "upon hearing his name, he turned..."
New contributor
New contributor
answered 2 days ago
Robert Frost
2113
2113
New contributor
New contributor
What would go just before this? Something like "Balt called out to the Old Man, and upon hearing his name, he turned...," perhaps? I'm not sure why burying the mention of the name in a preposition phrase makes it feel less jarring to me than Kale Slade's suggestion.
– Don 01001100
1 hour ago
@Don01001100 you could precede it with mention of calling out but you needn't. I like economy of word so I probably wouldn't. E.g. you could begin "he walked directly towards X, his gaze fixed, but upon hearing his name called from a grey figure huddled on the sand, he turned..."
– Robert Frost
35 mins ago
add a comment |
What would go just before this? Something like "Balt called out to the Old Man, and upon hearing his name, he turned...," perhaps? I'm not sure why burying the mention of the name in a preposition phrase makes it feel less jarring to me than Kale Slade's suggestion.
– Don 01001100
1 hour ago
@Don01001100 you could precede it with mention of calling out but you needn't. I like economy of word so I probably wouldn't. E.g. you could begin "he walked directly towards X, his gaze fixed, but upon hearing his name called from a grey figure huddled on the sand, he turned..."
– Robert Frost
35 mins ago
What would go just before this? Something like "Balt called out to the Old Man, and upon hearing his name, he turned...," perhaps? I'm not sure why burying the mention of the name in a preposition phrase makes it feel less jarring to me than Kale Slade's suggestion.
– Don 01001100
1 hour ago
What would go just before this? Something like "Balt called out to the Old Man, and upon hearing his name, he turned...," perhaps? I'm not sure why burying the mention of the name in a preposition phrase makes it feel less jarring to me than Kale Slade's suggestion.
– Don 01001100
1 hour ago
@Don01001100 you could precede it with mention of calling out but you needn't. I like economy of word so I probably wouldn't. E.g. you could begin "he walked directly towards X, his gaze fixed, but upon hearing his name called from a grey figure huddled on the sand, he turned..."
– Robert Frost
35 mins ago
@Don01001100 you could precede it with mention of calling out but you needn't. I like economy of word so I probably wouldn't. E.g. you could begin "he walked directly towards X, his gaze fixed, but upon hearing his name called from a grey figure huddled on the sand, he turned..."
– Robert Frost
35 mins ago
add a comment |
up vote
5
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You could perhaps adopt/adapt the technique used in the spy novel The Ipcress File by Len Deighton. Although the film of the book gave the main character a name (Harry Palmer), Deighton did not. At one point in the book, he has another character refer to the protagonist by name (while in an airport bookshop):
I was killing a minute with the paperbacks when I heard a soft voice say, 'Hello, Harry.'
Now my name isn't Harry, but in this business it's hard to remember whether it ever had been.
and "Harry" shrugs it off as a previously-used false name. That works well for a cloak-and-dagger spy story; but there are variants you could use in a more run-of-the-mill setting, for instance:
Old Man didn't know why [she | certain people] had decided his name was "John": it wasn't, but he couldn't be bothered correcting them.
New contributor
1
As a side note, this has been used (albeit in a direct homage to the Deighton style of spy novel) by Charles Stross in his Laundry series. Essentially, the name given to us for the character is Bob Howard (Bob Oliver Francis Howard in full, which is a rather subtle geek I M A Pseudonym) and several times in the books, he alludes to the fact that this isn't his real name, but since you are reading his secret service memoirs/case reports the names have been changed for security reasons.
– Wenlocke
10 hours ago
This seems to be answering a question different from what the OP asked.
– Acccumulation
3 hours ago
add a comment |
up vote
5
down vote
You could perhaps adopt/adapt the technique used in the spy novel The Ipcress File by Len Deighton. Although the film of the book gave the main character a name (Harry Palmer), Deighton did not. At one point in the book, he has another character refer to the protagonist by name (while in an airport bookshop):
I was killing a minute with the paperbacks when I heard a soft voice say, 'Hello, Harry.'
Now my name isn't Harry, but in this business it's hard to remember whether it ever had been.
and "Harry" shrugs it off as a previously-used false name. That works well for a cloak-and-dagger spy story; but there are variants you could use in a more run-of-the-mill setting, for instance:
Old Man didn't know why [she | certain people] had decided his name was "John": it wasn't, but he couldn't be bothered correcting them.
New contributor
1
As a side note, this has been used (albeit in a direct homage to the Deighton style of spy novel) by Charles Stross in his Laundry series. Essentially, the name given to us for the character is Bob Howard (Bob Oliver Francis Howard in full, which is a rather subtle geek I M A Pseudonym) and several times in the books, he alludes to the fact that this isn't his real name, but since you are reading his secret service memoirs/case reports the names have been changed for security reasons.
– Wenlocke
10 hours ago
This seems to be answering a question different from what the OP asked.
– Acccumulation
3 hours ago
add a comment |
up vote
5
down vote
up vote
5
down vote
You could perhaps adopt/adapt the technique used in the spy novel The Ipcress File by Len Deighton. Although the film of the book gave the main character a name (Harry Palmer), Deighton did not. At one point in the book, he has another character refer to the protagonist by name (while in an airport bookshop):
I was killing a minute with the paperbacks when I heard a soft voice say, 'Hello, Harry.'
Now my name isn't Harry, but in this business it's hard to remember whether it ever had been.
and "Harry" shrugs it off as a previously-used false name. That works well for a cloak-and-dagger spy story; but there are variants you could use in a more run-of-the-mill setting, for instance:
Old Man didn't know why [she | certain people] had decided his name was "John": it wasn't, but he couldn't be bothered correcting them.
New contributor
You could perhaps adopt/adapt the technique used in the spy novel The Ipcress File by Len Deighton. Although the film of the book gave the main character a name (Harry Palmer), Deighton did not. At one point in the book, he has another character refer to the protagonist by name (while in an airport bookshop):
I was killing a minute with the paperbacks when I heard a soft voice say, 'Hello, Harry.'
Now my name isn't Harry, but in this business it's hard to remember whether it ever had been.
and "Harry" shrugs it off as a previously-used false name. That works well for a cloak-and-dagger spy story; but there are variants you could use in a more run-of-the-mill setting, for instance:
Old Man didn't know why [she | certain people] had decided his name was "John": it wasn't, but he couldn't be bothered correcting them.
New contributor
New contributor
answered 13 hours ago
TripeHound
1515
1515
New contributor
New contributor
1
As a side note, this has been used (albeit in a direct homage to the Deighton style of spy novel) by Charles Stross in his Laundry series. Essentially, the name given to us for the character is Bob Howard (Bob Oliver Francis Howard in full, which is a rather subtle geek I M A Pseudonym) and several times in the books, he alludes to the fact that this isn't his real name, but since you are reading his secret service memoirs/case reports the names have been changed for security reasons.
– Wenlocke
10 hours ago
This seems to be answering a question different from what the OP asked.
– Acccumulation
3 hours ago
add a comment |
1
As a side note, this has been used (albeit in a direct homage to the Deighton style of spy novel) by Charles Stross in his Laundry series. Essentially, the name given to us for the character is Bob Howard (Bob Oliver Francis Howard in full, which is a rather subtle geek I M A Pseudonym) and several times in the books, he alludes to the fact that this isn't his real name, but since you are reading his secret service memoirs/case reports the names have been changed for security reasons.
– Wenlocke
10 hours ago
This seems to be answering a question different from what the OP asked.
– Acccumulation
3 hours ago
1
1
As a side note, this has been used (albeit in a direct homage to the Deighton style of spy novel) by Charles Stross in his Laundry series. Essentially, the name given to us for the character is Bob Howard (Bob Oliver Francis Howard in full, which is a rather subtle geek I M A Pseudonym) and several times in the books, he alludes to the fact that this isn't his real name, but since you are reading his secret service memoirs/case reports the names have been changed for security reasons.
– Wenlocke
10 hours ago
As a side note, this has been used (albeit in a direct homage to the Deighton style of spy novel) by Charles Stross in his Laundry series. Essentially, the name given to us for the character is Bob Howard (Bob Oliver Francis Howard in full, which is a rather subtle geek I M A Pseudonym) and several times in the books, he alludes to the fact that this isn't his real name, but since you are reading his secret service memoirs/case reports the names have been changed for security reasons.
– Wenlocke
10 hours ago
This seems to be answering a question different from what the OP asked.
– Acccumulation
3 hours ago
This seems to be answering a question different from what the OP asked.
– Acccumulation
3 hours ago
add a comment |
up vote
0
down vote
I'd imagine, the Old Man is one of the central characters of your story. Why not name the story after him and use his name there?
Doing so would accentuate his stature while creating an air of mystery. Allowing one person to called the Old Man by his name also conveys depth and sensitivity.
I'm not sure if you've got a short story title in mind but I would simply call it "John" and leave it at that.
New contributor
add a comment |
up vote
0
down vote
I'd imagine, the Old Man is one of the central characters of your story. Why not name the story after him and use his name there?
Doing so would accentuate his stature while creating an air of mystery. Allowing one person to called the Old Man by his name also conveys depth and sensitivity.
I'm not sure if you've got a short story title in mind but I would simply call it "John" and leave it at that.
New contributor
add a comment |
up vote
0
down vote
up vote
0
down vote
I'd imagine, the Old Man is one of the central characters of your story. Why not name the story after him and use his name there?
Doing so would accentuate his stature while creating an air of mystery. Allowing one person to called the Old Man by his name also conveys depth and sensitivity.
I'm not sure if you've got a short story title in mind but I would simply call it "John" and leave it at that.
New contributor
I'd imagine, the Old Man is one of the central characters of your story. Why not name the story after him and use his name there?
Doing so would accentuate his stature while creating an air of mystery. Allowing one person to called the Old Man by his name also conveys depth and sensitivity.
I'm not sure if you've got a short story title in mind but I would simply call it "John" and leave it at that.
New contributor
New contributor
answered yesterday
Anita Alig
11
11
New contributor
New contributor
add a comment |
add a comment |
up vote
-1
down vote
Peter shout on (called) the Old Man, by his name.
And so on ..
Hi Ali_Habeeb! While you provide an example of how to solve the OP's problem, it would be good if you could expand on your answer, give some general principles, add something to the discussion that has not yet been said. You can edit your post to add that.
– Galastel
7 hours ago
Hi @Galastel . I appreciate your advice, but it seems to me (as to others, I suppose) that the question is so direct and there is not much to say about it.
– Ali_Habeeb
3 hours ago
@Ali_Habeeb, you suppose incorrectly; this very page has several counterexamples to your supposition. (That is to say: people do have things to say about this question.)
– Wildcard
1 hour ago
add a comment |
up vote
-1
down vote
Peter shout on (called) the Old Man, by his name.
And so on ..
Hi Ali_Habeeb! While you provide an example of how to solve the OP's problem, it would be good if you could expand on your answer, give some general principles, add something to the discussion that has not yet been said. You can edit your post to add that.
– Galastel
7 hours ago
Hi @Galastel . I appreciate your advice, but it seems to me (as to others, I suppose) that the question is so direct and there is not much to say about it.
– Ali_Habeeb
3 hours ago
@Ali_Habeeb, you suppose incorrectly; this very page has several counterexamples to your supposition. (That is to say: people do have things to say about this question.)
– Wildcard
1 hour ago
add a comment |
up vote
-1
down vote
up vote
-1
down vote
Peter shout on (called) the Old Man, by his name.
And so on ..
Peter shout on (called) the Old Man, by his name.
And so on ..
answered 11 hours ago
Ali_Habeeb
33424
33424
Hi Ali_Habeeb! While you provide an example of how to solve the OP's problem, it would be good if you could expand on your answer, give some general principles, add something to the discussion that has not yet been said. You can edit your post to add that.
– Galastel
7 hours ago
Hi @Galastel . I appreciate your advice, but it seems to me (as to others, I suppose) that the question is so direct and there is not much to say about it.
– Ali_Habeeb
3 hours ago
@Ali_Habeeb, you suppose incorrectly; this very page has several counterexamples to your supposition. (That is to say: people do have things to say about this question.)
– Wildcard
1 hour ago
add a comment |
Hi Ali_Habeeb! While you provide an example of how to solve the OP's problem, it would be good if you could expand on your answer, give some general principles, add something to the discussion that has not yet been said. You can edit your post to add that.
– Galastel
7 hours ago
Hi @Galastel . I appreciate your advice, but it seems to me (as to others, I suppose) that the question is so direct and there is not much to say about it.
– Ali_Habeeb
3 hours ago
@Ali_Habeeb, you suppose incorrectly; this very page has several counterexamples to your supposition. (That is to say: people do have things to say about this question.)
– Wildcard
1 hour ago
Hi Ali_Habeeb! While you provide an example of how to solve the OP's problem, it would be good if you could expand on your answer, give some general principles, add something to the discussion that has not yet been said. You can edit your post to add that.
– Galastel
7 hours ago
Hi Ali_Habeeb! While you provide an example of how to solve the OP's problem, it would be good if you could expand on your answer, give some general principles, add something to the discussion that has not yet been said. You can edit your post to add that.
– Galastel
7 hours ago
Hi @Galastel . I appreciate your advice, but it seems to me (as to others, I suppose) that the question is so direct and there is not much to say about it.
– Ali_Habeeb
3 hours ago
Hi @Galastel . I appreciate your advice, but it seems to me (as to others, I suppose) that the question is so direct and there is not much to say about it.
– Ali_Habeeb
3 hours ago
@Ali_Habeeb, you suppose incorrectly; this very page has several counterexamples to your supposition. (That is to say: people do have things to say about this question.)
– Wildcard
1 hour ago
@Ali_Habeeb, you suppose incorrectly; this very page has several counterexamples to your supposition. (That is to say: people do have things to say about this question.)
– Wildcard
1 hour ago
add a comment |
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Is it a mystery that he is Old Man? If not, you should introduce him in a third person narration as John "Old Man" Smith and then refer to hims as Old Man until the dialog calls for "John or Mr. Smith" Another way is to have a character who is close to Old Man call him by "John" as sign that they only use their name when it's serious.
– hszmv
2 days ago
Write in the first person. See du Maurier's "Rebecca" for the classic example.
– Carl Witthoft
7 hours ago